People & Lifestyle story, March 2007
| MY STORY
(AT 46 YEARS OF AGE)
How does one begin a
story about how one has dealt with prostate cancer?
By: Rene Andersen |
On December 21st 2005, I was diagnosed with prostate cancer with a PSA reading of 210. Today, a year after, I have overcome the first and foremost difficult hurdle; bringing down my PSA and 'killing' off the cancer.
My PSA is now down to 0.07 and is normalised (the acceptable PSA range level for my age group is between 0.00 - 2.5), and the cancer in my bones has disappeared. During the whole year, while I was fighting the cancer, I managed to keep on working the whole time.
I feel that I have 'climbed Mount Everest' in a record time, even though most of the odds were against me. Coming this far and achieving these positive results has convinced me, that the cancer will not dictate my life. Being diagnosed with cancer seemed initially like a death sentence, but I have realised that this is far from the reality. As long as you believe that you can fight it, you can achieve almost the impossible. I have convinced myself, that I will die with it and not of it.
How did it all start?
It is a bit more than a year ago since I was diagnosed with prostate
cancer. More precisely, 21 December 2005. My doctor had booked
me for an appointment with Professor Roger Kirby, because during
a normal health check my PSA test came out abnormally high (161)
for a person at my age (46 years old).
I was examined and it was quickly recognised that something was wrong. The next day I went through the three 'compulsory' tests - a biopsy, an MRI scan and a bone scan. The following morning I heard the daunting news - all the tests were positive. My PSA had gone up even further to 210 and the cancer had spread to the bones (right shoulder, right hip and a small bone in between the legs). I was immediately put onto Casodex (hormone treatment).
It was just unreal what had just happened next - within 36 hours I was investigated, diagnosed and starting my hormone treatment - at that time I could not have wished to be in better hands. However, it would be an understatement to say, that this was a great start to our Christmas holiday. But we got through it with fantastic support from our dearest friends.
The start of a long climb
After returning from our Christmas holiday I had my next appointment
and found that my PSA had now dropped to 43 after less than two
weeks on Casodex. I was then prescribed Zoladex which combined
with Casodex is considered the most effective hormone treatment
in bringing down the PSA to its normal level.
Besides the hormone treatment, three other vital 'weapons' in my
arsenal were implemented helping me in my fight against the cancer:
• A healthy diet
• Exercise / Fitness training
• Maintaining a positive mindset
With the key objective of fighting and beating the cancer, a team
headed by Professor Kirby, was set up. In addition to him there was
a physican, a dietician and a fitness trainer. However I realised
that I could not just depend on the medical cure to fight my battle:
I did not want to rely on other people to fight my battle for me.
The aim, or game plan, was to ensure that all my troops (the good radicals in my body) were provided for in the best possible manner, so that they were in the best possible position ('shape') to fight and kill the enemy (the bad radicals), which temporarily had occupied my body.
The healthy diet
My new healthy diet excluded all diary products, no animal fat, sugar,
processed food and alcohol. This was not too hard to follow, as
I have always lived a rather healthy life style; eating mostly
organic and home made food. Maybe with the exception of sweets,
since I have always had a bit of a sweet tooth. But from now on
biscuits, Danish pastries and chocolate belonged to the past,
and it was now replaced with lots of fruits, nuts and carefully
selected supplements.
My new diet meant that I ate more fish, vegetables (broccoli, red cabbage, spinach, tofu, garlic, ginger, etc), sweet potatoes, brown rice, pasta - and basically anything, which is as close to its original identity as possible, as oppose to processed food. The fruit included lots of blue and black berries, strawberries, apples, raisins, kiwis, and pomegranates - all organic. Pomegranate juice and blue & blackberry smoothies became my daily drinks, including white and green tea. Though I have always drunk a lot of water, I made sure that from now on I drank at least 2.5 to 3 litres of water per day in order to ensure that my liver stayed clean and vital.
Apart from having a bit of a food obsession at the beginning, I did not mind my new diet. After a while I noticed, that my sweat (after exercising) no longer smelt, and that I had only lost a couple of kilos which I have now put back on again. Obviously my diet had detoxicated my body completely and helped to put my 'troops' into a better and more fit condition. In this respect my body was now provided with the right food or 'ammunition' to fight the battle against the bad radicals.
Exercise / Fitness Training
I have always enjoyed doing sport. I swam competitively since I was
9 years old, and I was part of the Danish National Swimming Team
for almost ten years. During that period I trained 3-5 hours per
day, except Sundays. This amount of training made me appreciate
the importance of fitness and good health. Sport is, and always
will be, a very important part of my life, and I have always believed
that physical fitness equals mental fitness.
In order to ensure that I maintained a good level of fitness, my support team made sure I had a personal trainer. This was probably the best 'medical' prescription, they could have prescribed for me.
Looking back over the past year, my trainer has been a valuable ally in my fight against the cancer. I still remember our first run in Richmond Park. It was a Sunday morning, and the rain came down in a steady steam. We ran all the way around Richmond Park (12,5k), which took us about an hour. During the whole run we chatted about the positive aspects about life, the importance of having a positive mindset, and how you can face and overcome problems much more easily by looking at the bright side of life. Though many would have said it was a miserable rainy morning that Sunday, I still recall it as a wonderful day where my life was brought back to earth again. Our Sunday morning runs in Richmond Park have now become a healthy addiction to my mental and physical state of mind.
Besides the running it was agreed that I should start to do some weight training in order to strengthened my bones. My trainer was also the choreographer of my weight training program, which among other things has helped me to get back to playing tennis again.
A couple of months before I was diagnosed with the cancer, I had to stop playing tennis, because my right shoulder hurt so much that I could hardly lift the racket. At the time I regarded it as strained muscle, which I thought just needed some rest. But shortly afterwards, the bone scan showed that it was the cancer that had caused it. So it was such a thrill to be able to pick up a racket and hit some tennis balls again.
In April 2006, I ran my first half marathon in Copenhagen and it was the first time, I have ever run such a long distance. During the last five years I have run the 'Erimitage Löb' (13,3k), which takes place north of Copenhagen in Denmark. I am in the picture.
Though my muscles have weakened a bit during the last year due to the hormone treatment, it has only highlighted the importance of keeping on exercising and maintaining a good level of fitness. Without the exercise I am convinced that apart from my body beginning to disintegrate, my mental mindset would have turned into a gloomy horror story.
What (not) to expect from the outside world!
Being diagnosed with cancer is a very daunting experience. Many people
regard it as a death sentence. Such a reaction is quite understandable,
as doctors and medical staff nowadays are under a tremendous working
pressure and are not allowed time enough to talk to their patients
about their individual case, and in particular to advise them
how they can fight it. But this is where I realised that my team
operated differently - because they did allow themselves all the
time needed to help and guide their patients in the most caring
and supportive manner.
Today's working environment has in many cases developed into a clinical environment, where the employee is mainly regarded as a resource to increase the bottom line. I still recall one of the first conversation I had with my boss, after I had informed him that I have been diagnosed with prostate cancer. First he politely asked me how I was feeling, after which he asked me if I had asked the doctor about the length of time I would live. I was lost for words. I was truly saddened by the insensitivity of his question and lack of understanding for my situation, and I honestly didn't know what to answer him. At that moment, my working environment was surely not the best medicine for my mental mindset.
A couple of weeks after my diagnosis, I saw another specialist, as my GP recommended that I should get a second opinion. This specialist was a radiologist and as a radiologist you tend to focus on the statistics. And according to the statistics he gave me very little hope saying I would most likely live for another 5 to 8 years, so he suggested that I started to enjoy the rest of my life as much as possible ... but shouldn't we all do that every day, anyway!
After leaving his consulting room that winter evening I had to go for a long walk, before returning home, as it was hard to get his death sentence out of my mind. After leaving his office I could not help thinking about what would happen to my wife and our 9-year old daughter, if I was no longer around. I decided that this doctor could be of no help to me and to ignore his statistical verdict - particularly as the statistics mainly related to men in the age group of 65 years and above. Thereafter, I solely dedicated my trust and belief in my support team who had started off so well.
I wanted to share these two reactions because they taught me how to value people and situations who support me and gave me hope and belief in my own situation. It has been equally important to be able to distance myself from people and situations who were not supportive and who did not encourage me in what I was going through. It has all been about selecting the good from the bad and although it sounds easy, this has not always been the case.
Maintaining a positive mindset
I have tried to avoid people or situations, which could have a negative
influence on my mindset. I prefer to look at the world from the
perspective of the half-full instead of the half-empty glass.
We are all individual personalities with our own little unique
DNA footprint, which cannot be categorised in a statistical manner.
I have found great encouragement in reading the books of Lance Armstrong: "Its not about the bike" and "Every second counts", and Joe Simpson's: "Touching the Void". These books talk about how to deal with an almost impossible situation in a positive way, and how one can successfully overcome even the most hopeless situation by adapting a positive 'never-give-up' attitude.
It is not always easy to maintain a positive outlook of life, especially when your thought-process climbs on board the carousal of uncertainties. Mentally it has been a bit of a roller coaster. The uncertainty about not knowing what the outcome would be tortured my mind in the beginning. But the positive results I had from my monthly blood test boosted my confidence and convinced me that I was on the right track, and this helped me to focus even harder on my diet and exercise regime.
It took about a couple of months before I started to push the uncertainties about what to expect next into the background of my mind. This allowed me some positive breathing space which started to revitalise my mental energy levels again. The exercising has also helped me to keep a positive outlook on the future. Being able to run for an hour, doing weight training and playing tennis for an hour or two - makes me realise that I am very much alive. It gave my mental mindset a huge positive injection of 'yes-I-can-beat-this' vitamins.
Living is believing - and believing is the fundamental part of fighting any kind of difficulty. Maintaining a positive mindset and a positive belief that the cancer can be beaten, has helped me climb my steep mountain of difficulties.
What has been the main side effect of the hormone treatment?
In the first 2-3 months it was mainly the psychological effect of
knowing that I was now on a hormone treatment, that troubled me.
Physically I was still very much able to continue doing what I
have always done - working, running, swimming and playing tennis.
About eight months after I started the treatment, I recognised that I had lost some muscle power. However, I was still able to keep up the same level of exercise activity as before. My family also noticed that I was not as patient, as I used to be. I started to become a bit more temperamental, which had never been a characteristic of mine before.
Do I feel weaker after what I have gone through? No: not really. Knowing that I have managed to fight off the cancer has made it even more obvious to me about prioritising what is important and what is not important in life. In many ways life has become more straightforward.
What do I strive to achieve next?
When I reflect back over the last year and take stock of what has
happened to my life, it is clear that the cancer has been at the
forefront of my mind during most of that period. On that basis
I have come to the conclusion, that it will not be allowed to
dictate my life. Instead of having a 'to do list' I have made
my 'wish list' for 2007 which is:
• To ensure that my PSA level stays low by eating healthily,
doing exercise and by staying positive.
• To live without needing the 'hormone-treatment' anymore.
The healthy diet and exercise will be the key to this.
• To run another half-a-marathon this year. My trainer will
continue being my motivator in this respect.
• To get back into a permanent tennis playing routine again.
My ultimate goal is to kill off any potential 'sniper-radicals',
which might have hidden themselves somewhere in my body and ensure
that my body stays a bad-radical zone-free area.
Above all of this the most important goal of all is to ensure, that we as a family will continue to enjoy our lives with out thinking about the cancer any more.
A final word
One of the most common questions when one is diagnosed with cancer
is - why me? This was also the question I asked myself, when I
was first diagnosed. I thought I had had my share of bad fortune,
when five years earlier I was close to dying from lyme disease
and meningitis.
It is not what we experience here in life that determines how our life will be. It is the way, we react to what we experience - that determines what kind of life we will get.
I sincerely believe that if I had not taken a proactive approach towards fighting my cancer, I would never have achieved the results which I have done. My hope of making it happen turned my mind into believing, that it would happen. Naturally, the immense support and help which I have received from my support team has been priceless. Their professionalism and genuine care for my well being is something, which I will value forever.
I would not have been able to sit here today and write my story with out acknowledging the effort my wife has made. During the past year she has been the choreographer of my life. Of course, it was a huge shock for her as well, when I was diagnosed. But she took up the challenge. She has been an invaluable support for me.
Lastly but not least, the support we have received from our friends has also been beyond belief. We cannot thank them enough for all the sincerity that they have shown us during the last year's difficulties.
I have realised - that every second counts - with whatever you do and whoever you are with. I can only encourage everybody else to enjoy life and pass on a smile to their fellow human beings, because things might not be as bad as they look. I surely intend to keep on enjoying my life.