UPDATE - Issue 25 - Spring 2006
Sheila Kilmister 1935 - 2006
Friday 20 January was one of those days when time stood still and separated eras. The news of Sheila Kilmister"s death, following a stroke and repeated brain haemorrhage, travelled quickly
I was privileged to count Sheila as a friend from the day ten years ago when she provided the lunch at which I volunteered to edit this Newsletter. She was a source of wisdom and experience, a true partner in all Tony"s endeavours and an oldie who brilliantly mastered the computer technology which inevitably pervaded the administration of a growing charity. May I share with you extracts from tributes by The Rev Stuart Seaton (Vicar of St Peter"s, Bushey Heath), by John Anderson, our Chief Executive, and by Neil Inkley, former Vice-Chairman of the Prayer Book Society?
All of us have vivid memories of Sheila Kilmister and all of them happy ones. Sheila was born in Manchester and at the age of 9 she became a boarder at a school in North Wales - later becoming its Head Girl. She left there in 1953 and in less than two years met Tony in an office above a Conservative club. Romance blossomed resulting in their marriage on 24 May 1958 in Hyde, Cheshire. This was not without its difficulties. The honeymoon was cut to a long weekend so that Tony could manage a parliamentary by-election campaign in West London!
In a career move a couple of years later Tony took up a post in the Film Industry and Independent Television. As always, Sheila was hugely supportive.
Whatever Tony did Sheila stood at his side. Whether the concern was for people with Parkinson"s Disease or with prostate problems Sheila was never far away.
In 1972, when Tony had just started a new job, he decided to go to a gathering of people concerned by what they saw as liturgical vandalism. Sheila said, "Don"t get too involved whatever you do". But, Tony became the Prayer Book Society"s first Hon. Secretary and later its Chairman and, of course, Sheila played her full part.
Another project, of particular interest to Update readers, was the Prostate Research Campaign UK that Tony and Sheila, an unstoppable team, founded in 1993. Together they and their colleagues built it into one of the leaders in its field.
Sheila was not just a kind and thoughtful hostess. She was always there to inject a note of realism, to provide facts from her prodigious memory, to puncture pomposity when necessary, and to provide a smile - and even a Gin and Tonic - when things were not going right - in fact, even when they were going right!
Our Chairman Professor Roger Kirby intends to dedicate his next book to Sheila - a lady who devoted so much of her life to the service of others.
It was piquant that the Epistle for the day of her passing contained, Be kindly affectioned one to another, ... not slothful in business; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord; . . . continuing instant in prayer; distributing to the necessity of saints; given to hospitality. This really forms a ready obituary in itself.
It is as an outgoing and constant friend of so many that Sheila will be sadly missed. As Dr Thomas Stuttaford said recently: "Other than at great State occasions rarely have I seen so large a church so full of people for a funeral. It was a huge tribute to Sheila and her husband". Add to this the cliché about the good woman behind every good man and it is a matter of no surprise that among the hundreds of condolence letters received were those from the Archbishop, other Bishops, a member of the Royal Family and leaders in many spheres. That was a reflection of the Sheila-and-Tony partnership. To Tony, she was an intensely l oyal and utterly devoted wife, the best thing, as he says, that ever happened to him. To him we extend our deepest condolences on the loss of this lovely and remarkable lady.
Richard Killick, Editor of Update